I found a nice stone slab today, nearly 4 feet wide and 7 feet long it’s a variation of a common sex stone. The most common are BFRs, this one is a BFFR.

Don’t ask how I got it on my truck. If you do you’ll hear some other choice names I had for it.

Wondering what a BFR and BFFR might be?

Those who don’t use 4 letter words should leave now.

A BRF is a Big F-ing Rock and a BFFR is a Big F-ing Flat Rock. These types of rocks often bring out the F word when people see them.

The top 10 examples:

1. Holy F!
2. How the F do you move it?
3. How the F did you get that on the truck?
4. How the F are you going to get that off?
5. Where the F did you find that?
6. I don’t F-ing believe you moved that by yourself.
7. Are you some kind of F-ing idiot?
8. Are you out of your F-ing mind?
9. Hell yes, I F-ing want it.
10. You want how F-ing much for that?

As you can see most are questions. They are the reason I F-ing move them. I love to boggle peoples minds and make people go slack jawed when they see me drive through town.

I won’t answer how I moved it. The methods are all Idiot’s Trade Secrets. I’m not the only one in the Union. Look at the photo below and see another member’s truck from a different village. But one thing we will tell you. Ford Trucks take a load and then some more.

Well now that the BFFR is on the truck it means I have to travel to Long Island. I have a spot begging for it so I’ll be off first thing tomorrow morning.

FORD:

• Fast
• Oversize
• Rock
• Delivery

Not sure how long I’ll be gone, I want to make this a quick trip but who knows what kind of mischief I’ll get into once I get down to Long Island.

You can’t say this is just a rock. There’s something special about this one. I found it so it’s ‘Mine, Mine, All Mine’. I just have to get it home.

This rock belongs in a water feature. I’m thinking of having it emerge from a shallow pond. In my dreams I imagine drilling a hole in a stragic spot and making a ‘fountain’ so water will cascade down in just the right spot.

But I won’t keep it. Someone else will get it. I’m funny that way.

But I do need to stop giving this kind of find away. I’m usually so happy just to have something like this to ‘work’ with I never think of selling the ‘find’. I get enough for my time I almost feel guilty charging for something I found.

Another poblem is how do you put a price on something like this. There’s nothing to compare it to, no ‘manufacturing’ costs and no purchase price. All I have is shipping and handling charges

There is some value added. Nature was nice enough to apply some moss and lichens.

I figure it would take at least 3 hours to load, deliver and set it in place. All by hand of course since renting and transporting heavy equipment would make it way too expensive to even consider (IMO)

If you’re wondering – I’d charge about $150 for this rock. Of course every minute over 3 hours adds to the price.

So what would you be willing to pay?

A late Febuary thaw exposed old stone walls and ‘my’ moss garden peeked out from under the blanket of snow. Miles of these old stone walls run through the area and I can spend hours following them looking at one gorgeous moss and lichen covered rock after another. Right now the best are still hidden under snow but any sight of green is welcome.

I can’t identify the moss and lichen varieties that cover the rocks. I’ve given some thought to buying a whole new set of field guides but I think I’ll pass and just enjoy the view.

I’ve transplanted a number of these rocks to deep shady garden spots. Moisture isn’t really necessary, after all these are sitting high and dry on the walls. They’ll take winter and early spring sun but even a short period of direct sun in the summer will burn them.

Most of these rocks are home to both moss and lichen varieties. I was a bit surprised to find podentia (lichen fruiting bodies) that had overwintered. These fragile looking “golf tees’ are sturdier than they look.

I’m using the Moss and Lichen photo as desktop wallpaper. The image is linked to a larger size (1024 x 768). As with any photo you find on the blog – if you want one sized to fit your screen a simple request is all that’s required to put me to ‘work’ and I’ll make one for ya.